Some Wise Advice (and Humor) for Life
By Liaf
I suppose I should add a "fun" page that has witty slogans, pictures and the like. I thought I’d share some of my sayings in order to add a light-hearted slant to an otherwise serious web site we have here. Here it goes:
The game of chess and the pieces are much like our lives and the people in them. Here is what I found out about playing chess: always, always, always try to eliminate the queens early in the game. If you don’t, those women will give you nothing but trouble and grief throughout the rest of the game. I guess the next pieces to eliminate are the bishops. I don’t trust a piece that plays on only half the board. (OK ladies, you weren’t supposed to take that seriously. J As for the religious pieces, I hold my tongue.)
Some of my sayings include a collection of "I can do without" slogans. Here are some examples:
I can do without…..
Four-wheel drives that tailgate you when you are trying to take it easy in that new-fallen snow.
I can do without…..
Being held up from work by an overturned four-wheel drive that passed you earlier in that new-fallen snow.
I can do without…..
New and popular action toys that the kids must have for Christmas. Usually they must be assembled and missing parts are guaranteed if the supplier has to count to two or higher.
I can do without…..
Tape that does not stick. I’m still trying to find the fundamental purpose of such material.
I can do without…..
This software. Every time I copy and paste this "I can do without….." slogan it changes to size ten when I copied it in size twelve. See what I mean?
I can do without…..
Telemarketers. I will not say any more. This is a Christian site. My best advice is just to hang up on them. I do have a very profound question about hanging up on them. I often wonder how long they talk until they realize I’m not there any longer? I guess I’ll never know L
I can do without…..
"Experts" (with intellectual degrees) who tried to convince me my idea for a solar house would not work. Here it is ten years later. I’ve been living here and cut my heating bill in half--- even on the coldest days the room temp’s about 80 degrees and very bright. (Any cold people out there want to visit me?)
I can do without…..
Specialty store experts (such as electronic or plumbing). They love to smugly imply you know nothing just because you cannot figure out exactly what you want to buy in order to fix something. I guess their purpose in life is to insult us instead of helping us (Of course we have no problem admitting we do not know everything J )
Here are some other things I’ve noticed (and the humor in them):
Turning people into robots is something I noticed when the "common folk" who once sided with me now gets elected into a government office. How the tide changes! Ever notice that? ---OK, OK maybe not everyone, but I bet the few who don’t have a harder time there.
The fundamental rule of design incompetence occurs when something that ought to take five minutes to repair or install takes 5 hours.
The fundamental laws of being cheaply employed: 1) Mathematicians determined that the amount of work one does is inversely proportional to the pay. 2) The number of holidays one gets is directly proportional to one’s pay.
The five minute law: People that like to argue your area of expertise usually do five minutes or less of the study in the subject themselves.
Hope I made your holidays (and everyday) a little more humorous. Laugh last and hardest!